picking a person's name is tough. it's kind of a lot of pressure.

especially finding a name that will work in two very different cultures.

oh, and did i mention that we're leaning more and more towards not finding out the gender early? my husband always wanted to be surprised...i've swayed back and forth a bit. but the closer we get to finding out, the more i'm thinking that waiting could be fun.

but that means we need to have 2 names picked out instead of just one. double challenge.

my mom is kind of my litmus test for indian names. i definitely want our child to have a name that is indian, but the challenge is choosing an indian name that americans won't totally butcher.

that's where my mom comes in. i write down a name for her, and then listen to her try to say it. a few have definitely been eliminated that way. haha.

since my child will never get to meet my dad who is passed away, i would also like to make some kind of tribute to my dad with the name. my dad's initials were J.E....as were my grandfather's, who is also gone. so i thought it might be nice to give those first two initials to my child as a way to be connected to him.

so if anyone has any name suggestions...especially indian names, feel free to submit them now. i do have a short list, though i'm not yet ready to reveal the name candidates because they may still be likely to change.

for right now though i've started calling the kiddo "baby j"...since boy or girl, their first name will likely start with a J. and speaking of baby j, my husband got to feel the baby kick for the first time this morning. i've been feeling it for awhile, but it's kind of felt like mine and the baby's little secret...it's nice though now being able to share the fun with my hubby. :)

oh, and just for "kicks", here we are last week at 20 weeks...definitely working on that bump!

my pregnancy has reached almost 20 weeks, and the question of gender is on my mind.

not that it matters to me...i would love a boy or a girl. it's just the curiosity that's killing me.
on the other hand, my husband would rather not know the baby's gender yet. he wants to be surprised at the birth. with him being from india, people aren't allowed to know the gender there any ways, so it's not something he's as used to. so we've yet to make a decision, but we need to make it soon!

the reason sonograms aren't allowed in india is sadly due to female abortions. in some parts of india, there are 800 women for every 1000 men. in a normal society, there are slightly more women than men, so that tells you that female abortion and infanticide are still definitely an issue in some places.

today i saw an article about a doctor who is trying to pass a US law that wouldn't allow gender to be determined via ultrasound until 30 weeks, in order to prevent gender based abortion...which is much more rare in the US, but apparently it still happens.

it looks like this has caused some interesting controversy...
especially among the pro-choice crowd.

many advocates of the pro-choice stance seem to also be leaning towards advocating this policy because they are still upset about gender discrimination taking place.

which is fascinating to me...because, correct me if i'm wrong, but the way i see it is that really the biggest disagreement between a person who is pro-choice, and one who is pro-life, is whether or not abortion amounts to killing a person.

i know it's really a bigger issue than that, but i feel like in many ways, this is what it comes down to. so that does make it interesting to me that many people who don't feel that a person is being killed, are simultaneously upset about gender discrimination towards that...person. know what i mean?

anyways, i don't usually feel much benefit in stirring up controversy on the internet, but i just thought this was something interesting to consider, and i'm curious to know the thoughts of others.

my personal stance is pro-life. going through a pregnancy myself now is an incredible experience that's only confirmed life before birth to me. however, i do recognize that there is usually a gray area, and there extreme and rare medical cases where an abortion might need to be an option. not that anyone would want to be in a position of having to make that choice, but i suppose it could be a bit like a house being on fire, and you only have time to save one person inside. i feel that it is incredibly uncommon for people to abort for reasons like this though, and most of the time abortion is just being used as birth control.

anyways, that's my two cents. i know this is a subject that can really get people riled up, but i'm curious to hear how people feel about these two humans rights issues that in many ways seem to be in conflict.